One of, if not, the best ways to get back to anyone who thinks bad of you, or accuses you of doing or being something negative, which you absolutely know you are not, is to be the manifest antithesis to anything and everything you are accused of.
Sometimes you do not even need to respond in words. Especially when it becomes clear that the haters – to use the general, modern descriptive of this kind of behavior – are only trying to goad you into a war of words, which they often do, and try to wear you down by sheer yelling and shouting and the use of immoderate language – don’t fall for it.
Never fall for it.
Instead –
First, disarm them and render their shouting and yelling a mere blowing of hot air in the uncaring wind, by refusing to respond in kind. Deny them the opponent and the punching bag they seek, and the satisfaction they (often) obviously look to get by the apparent victory they seem to convince themselves of deriving from shouting you down. Do not let them have it.
- If there be a reasonable opportunity to respond, do so with gentler words, hikmah (wisdom), and with the best of debating styles, to the best of your ability. “Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance.” (Quran, 16:125)
- If not, and it becomes clear to you that their argument is mainly driven by hate rather than love; to perpetuate prejudices rather than to learn and dispel them; a desire for the self-gratificating notion of having won an argument, not by better points but by invectives and loud noises; why, my dear brother/sister, ignore and refuse to dignify their hatefulness with a response, “[a]nd be patient over what they say and avoid them with gracious avoidance.” (Quran, 73:10). And if you must respond, then remember to be among the believers about whom Allah says “And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth easily, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace,” (Quran, 25:63).
- Of course, if it threatens to boil down to physical abuse, take necessary action to defend yourself or others, and notify and involve law enforcement immediately.
Second, show, in words and in deeds, that you are anything but. Be the best Muslim you can be. Be the most loving, the most kind, the most caring, the most sharing, the most generous, the most friendly, the most hardworking, the most helpful, the most useful, the most sincere in your goodness, the most upright, the most lenient, the most welcoming, the best to your wife and kids, to your neighbors, your colleagues, schoolmates, most helpful and respectful to your parents and family, the most dignified, etc. In short, be the best version of Godliness and good-awesomeness you can be, to the best of your ability.
Use your knowledge and your skills for good. Use your strength and smartness to help others. Participate in the development and improvement of your society. Obey all just laws in any country you live in, and shun the breaking of them. Where public good and safety is concerned, be the first and best (or among them) to implement whatever has been deemed necessary to that effect. For whatever is suggested for implementation in the cause of the preservation of life, limb, property, and societal equilibrium, that is at the same time just and sound and for the good of all, is Islamic. And you, being Muslim – well, you need not be told twice.
Let the bigots eat their words. Let them swallow them hard. Give them some biryani, some dates, some cakes and some tea, to aid them in the process. And when swallowed, along with their arrogance, let them come to the realization that their accusations and hatefulness are unfounded indeed.
And while you are at it, pray for self and for them. Perhaps, someday, in shaa Allah, they may just turn around and become the best of friends and most devoted of alliances.
You will not be doing this for the mere satisfaction of proving a person wrong, nor will you be doing it to shame anyone. Really. You will be doing this because it is the best thing to do. You will be doing what Allah has inspired the Prophets (Peace Be Upon Them All) to teach us to do. You would be practicing what Islam and the Qur’an teaches us to do. For the sake of Allah. And that, brothers and sisters, is the best of all reasons for doing all the good we do.
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.” (Qur’an, 41:34)
And may Allah bless us all with stronger Iman, guide and make us steadfast on the right path, and make us among the best of His righteous servants.
